And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
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