Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
