i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
