South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
