My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
