this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
