Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
