Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
