he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's rum buckets o'clock
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
