She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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