i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
