sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
