i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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