He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
