i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dear god my vagina.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
