How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
