You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
