why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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