We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
