Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
