i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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