Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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