I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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