my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
