I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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