Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
