Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
