I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
