I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
