Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
