i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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