Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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