I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
