I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
