At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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