That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
