Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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