If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
