i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
They have beer where we have blood.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
