It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
