I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
