i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
