Dual....:-)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
