I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
