he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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