You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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