Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
