Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I met the friendliest cop last night
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
