Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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