I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
