Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
