Christians are straight up FREAKS
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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