she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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